I Thought I Knew God.
Set Free from
Religious deception
Written by: Ted Parks a servant of Jesus Christ
Religious, yet still lost.
Ever since I was a little baby I went to church. I remember seeing the tall door frame way above my head as we would enter and leave the building. Every Sunday my Father and mother and we kids would go to church with few exceptions. We learned religious language and how to act for different situations and meetings.
As I got older I can remember going to Christian camp during the summers and usually attending a summer Bible training. During this time I was taught much about God and how much He loved us by sending Jesus His Son to die on a cross for us and then rise three days later to provide for us forgiveness of sin and eternal life. From the time I was little I believed this was true since that was what I was taught.
When I was nine years old, I began sensing a drawing to go forward at the end of the teaching. After the teaching, my church would always sing songs inviting people to make commitments to Jesus. One Sunday as I was holding on to the top of the chair tightly, I could not stand it any longer. So I got up and walked forward to the front of the room. When I came up to the pastor he asked me “do you believe in Jesus”. I was thinking, I have always believed in Jesus, so I replied ‘yes’. I was then directed to be seated and I filled out a request for membership card. Shortly after that I was baptized. I was assured that I was now a Christian and would go to be with Jesus in heaven when I died.
From this time on I was totally convinced that I was a Christian without any doubt, though I did not become a Christian at this time. I believed the facts that Jesus died on the cross and rose three days later and that Jesus is the Son of God. Yet, Satan and all his demons believe these facts but yet they shudder as they await their judgment in hell. I didn’t understand at that time what it really meant to believe in Jesus. If I had, I would have probably gotten saved at that time. I will share latter what it means to believe in Jesus.
Thus began my life of religious deception. What I needed most was to truly know God, but I was not open to pursue that need because I thought I already knew Him. Whenever an Evangelist would come to our Church and ask us who knows for sure when they die they will go to heaven, I would quickly raise my hand. I rested this belief on the fact that I had walked forward when I was nine and told the pastor that I believed in Jesus.
I was actually a pretty moral kid as would be seen from man’s perspective. I often gave 20 % of all the money I received to my church. I was usually quite submissive to my parents. At least that is what they tell me. I didn’t want to smoke since I was told I shouldn’t by my parents. I also didn’t want to put dangerous smoke into my body and destroy my lungs. At my church the parents would discuss about who was the godliest youth, this other guy or me. I guess I was that good at fooling people since I wasn’t even a Christian.
I remember being invited to a party by my a friend. I went and we began to drink vodka mixed with orange juice. This was the first time I ever drank liquor. Later we had some beers. When it was time to go home my friend was not able to drive since he had more to drink than me. So he asked me if I would drive. I told him I would. As I was driving home I remember coming to a stop sign and wanting to stop but not being able. I ended up going across the main road and on to the dirt on the other side. I am so glad there were no other cars on that road or I might not have been here writing this testimony. From that point on I drove very carefully realizing my reaction time was very slow. As I reflected on this party and how empty people were on the inside, even though they acted like they had everything together on the outside, plus the danger of drinking and driving, I decided that I did not want to get drunk again. That was it for my life of getting drunk and going to wild parties.
When I was a youth sitting in church I can remember several times going into a day dream seeing myself preaching at a meeting and seeing people come forward and give their lives to Jesus and rededicate their lives. I would then come to from the vision wondering what this was. I had no desire to preach and do what I was envisioning. Another time when I was at my house watching TV, an evangelist came on and began to preach. Then I heard a voice deep in my heart speak to me that this is what I was called to do. I quickly went to my mother and told her I was called to preach. She told me that if I became a preacher I would be poor and unpopular. Well, I didn’t want to be poor or unpopular so I quickly dismissed the idea.
No matter how religious I was and how often God had tried to get my attention, I was lord of my life. I ran my life the way I saw fit but was not doing a very good job. I thought the whole world revolved around me. I was at the center and other people existed for my sake. I loved myself and didn’t have much love for other people. I can remember my father asking the family if we should help out a youth from our church with some money to buy food. I said no, why should we waste our money on somebody else, when we could use the money for ourselves. I was thinking also that this youth should make his own money and not bother other people for help. I was so self-centered with very little room for godly love. Yet I was very empty with no sense of meaning for my life. I couldn’t wait until I would finish High School so that maybe my life could begin. Surely there was more to life than what I was experiencing. I spent much time dreaming my life away in non reality.
I tried to use sports to help me find meaning. I enjoyed sports and wanted to be known as a sportsman. I liked just about every sport and played them regularly. In High School I was on some sports teams and traveled to different schools for competition. I would dream of someday being a professional sportsman. Though, when I would come back to reality, I confirmed in my mind that I was going to be an animal doctor. I had wanted to be an animal doctor since I was a little kid.
I was not good at communicating with people and would often use cut downs as a way of joking. They would cut me down and I would cut them down. I would often see friends cutting each other down and decided this was normal behavior and a way of showing friendship. Though I had some friends I was mainly a loner and spent much time in the mountains. I didn’t talk very much and was an extreme introvert.
Even though I went to church almost every Sunday, I did not like going to church. Whenever my family decided to visit my aunt and uncle on Sunday I was so happy because we would not have to go to church. Other times we would go fishing or hunting on Sundays and I was relieved that I didn’t have to sit through a sermon on that particular Sunday.
When I was in High School, my church youth group did a musical drama called celebrate life. We would travel to different cities performing this musical in other churches. At the end of the musical we would invite people to give their lives to Jesus. I was excited when people came forward to dedicate their lives to Jesus. I played three different characters in this drama. Mostly I played John the apostle, but at one time I played Satan and at the end I played Jesus. I can’t help but think that this was a good picture of my life at that time. On Sundays I went to church and was quite religious. The rest of the week I lived more like Satan in a religious way. I never looked like Jesus so that part would not fit. I was living a double life.
God’s amazing grace:
One night before going to bed, God spoke to my heart and told me, “You do not know me.” He showed me that I only think about Him when I pray at night and go to Church on Sunday, but He wasn’t real in my life. I was in the room by myself. No one else had told me that I did not know God for all the people at my church thought I knew Him. From that time I began to seek after God.
God put it on my heart to start reading the Bible regularly. Before this time I did not read the Bible on my own. I began in Matthew and didn’t finish the book of Matthew before coming to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
I left home when I was eighteen to go to the University. I lived in an apartment right next to the University so that I could attend classes. I was still reading through the book of Mathew. I guess I was going at a slow pace. One day I was sitting on my bed reading in the book of Matthew when Jesus spoke to my heart through the scriptures saying that He wanted my whole heart one hundred per cent. This was the first time that I realized that Jesus wanted control of my life. I already believed that Jesus died on the cross and rose three days later and that Jesus is the Son of God. Yet I had never believed in Jesus as my Lord. By God’s amazing grace I made a decision that is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I said,” Jesus here is my life, do whatever You want with it, it is totally Yours.” At this time I truly believed in Jesus, not just for what He did but also for who He is, my Lord. I died to me and came alive to Jesus and meant it truly from the heart. I am not sure of the exact scripture that God used to speak to me but it was either Matt. 16:24-26 or one similar. In Matt. 16:24-26 the Bible says, “Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it. For what will a man be profited, if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” Jesus never taught anything less than total surrender for those who would follow Him.
At that time I did not know theologically what had happened to me but I know that my life drastically changed from that time forward. I was filled with an overwhelming joy. I now had meaning and purpose for my life. I was now to live my life for Jesus Christ. The emptiness left and a great heaviness lifted. I was now forgiven of all my sins and brought into the family of God. I felt like I had come out of darkness into a glorious light.
After coming to Jesus in true faith:
In second Corinthians 5:17 it says, “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” This was definitely true of my life. Everything seemed to have changed. I was a whole new person inside. Praise God for His amazing grace.
I began to have a clear leading from the Holy Spirit on many things as he began changing my heart and directing my path. I didn’t want to stop singing ‘give it all to Jesus’. This is what happened in my life and I wanted to sing about it. I received a strong hunger to know the Bible from cover to cover and everything it teaches. When I went home for Christmas break I spent much of my time reading the Bible. My parents asked my brother what was wrong with me since I was reading the Bible so much. He responded that he used to think I went fanatical until God touched his heart also. He assured my parents that I was normal.
At that time I was listening to non-Christian music. When I turned on my music I could hear the words and they were so unedifying and meaningless. I had a great desire to listen to music about Jesus. I began searching the radio for Jesus music until I found some. The Spirit of God within me rejoiced as I was listening to music that glorified God. No one told me to change my music. At that time I had never heard of Christian music or heard of church goers listening to anything except secular music. God filled my heart with such a love for Him I just wanted to praise God and sing about what Jesus had done for me.
I used to watch a lot of TV but that also began to change. Many of the shows I had been watching were not edifying to me or pleasing to God and the Holy Spirit began gently letting me know which ones. Little by little I stopped watching the bad shows and only watching shows pleasing to God. I also didn’t want to waste too much time watching things that were unprofitable. I remember hearing my youth leader at church making fun of people who limit their TV watching and the other youth laughing along with him. No person had told me to limit my TV watching. It was God’s gentle work in my heart.
Unlike before I met Jesus, I could hardly wait to go to church. I remember somewhat skipping and singing as I walked to church. I not only went on Sundays but whenever the door was open and I was able to attend. Our church had a special witnessing time on the University campus and elsewhere, which I participated in. I was now excited about sharing my new faith in Jesus. I had never gone out sharing my faith with other people before this time. The only time I had done some sharing was through the musical drama that I had participated in. Things had changed in my heart and I wanted to tell people about my Savior. In my speech class I started sharing speeches about Jesus.
I began praying regularly and occasionally fasting. I wanted to obey everything the Bible had to say. I had such a great desire to live my life totally for Jesus Christ. I started learning to love others and consider others before myself. I no longer saw myself as the center of the universe but that I was here to serve and bless others.
Next God began working on my mouth and delivered me from my cut down speech. One Sunday when I went out with the church college students for something to eat my mouth got the best of me. One of the girls there who I hadn’t met before said something about going on a date. I blurted out, ‘I wouldn’t go out with you if you gave me a million dollars’. I was quickly rebuked by the strongest Christian girl in the group. I felt so bad and from that time I stopped using cut down speech.
God then taught me to forgive everybody who sins against me as He forgave me for my sin. This has brought major healing to my emotions. I learned that forgiving others brings freedom to me and spiritual health. To not forgive bring darkness and spiritual bondage.
After truly receiving Jesus, I could now accept my call to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Before God had called me several times but I was not able to receive the call since I was a non believer. Now that my life belonged to God, it was brought back to my memory all the times God had been calling me to do His work and I was able to receive His call.
My heart breaks to think there are many people like I was who are convinced they know Jesus but really do not. I was deceived for nine years until God’s grace came and opened my eyes so that I could truly come to know Him. It is always better to know for sure!
What does a person need to do to be sure?
Accept Gods great love.
God’s great love is beyond what we could imagine or think. He demonstrated this love by sending Jesus Christ His Son to die for us so that we can be forgiven of all our sin and live for eternity with Him in heaven. The Bible says in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, buy have eternal life.” God loves us and wants to give us eternal life to all who believe in Jesus Christ. He does not want us to perish under righteous judgment. Yet our sin and rebellion have separated us from God and put us under God’s righteous judgment.
Recognize our sin and rebellion.
The Bible says we have all sinned and come short of God’s standard of righteousness. The Bible says in Romans 3:9-12, “What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; as it is written, ‘There is none righteous, not even one; there is none who understands, there is none who seeks for God; all have turned aside, together they have become useless; there is none who does good, there is not even one.” Like King David we must admit our sin. The Bible says in Psalms 51:3, 4, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against Thee (God), Thee only, I have sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight, so that Thou art justified when Thou dost speak, and blameless when Thou dost judge.” Only when our eyes are opened up to recognize our sin and rebellion, will we see our need for a Savior.
One of the biggest sins we can commit is not accepting God as our God and giving Him control of our lives as Lord. If we do not give God control of our lives we are in the same rebellion as Satan who has rejected God’s authority over Him.
The result of our sin and rebellion:
The Bible says in Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This refers to spiritual death, being eternally separated from God under His judgment. God is holy and righteous and must punish sin. If God did not punish sin He would not be righteous. In the Bible in Revelations 20:11-15, God shares about the final judgment, “And I saw a great white throne and Him who sat upon it, from whose presence earth and heaven fled away, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds. And death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone’s name was no found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.”
This judgment is for those whose names are not written in the book of life. If one’s name is written in the book of life they will not be judged in this final judgment. You may ask, “How then can my name be written in the book of life?” I will share that next.
God’s great provision:
God sent His Son Jesus Christ to die in our place and take our punishment for sin and give us His righteousness so that we can be reconciled to God. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:20,21 “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were entreating through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him (Jesus Christ) who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” Only Jesus’ righteousness meets God’s standard of holiness.
The penalty for our sin and rebellion must be paid for. Either I will pay this penalty with everlasting separation from God being judged for eternity or I must accept God’s provision (substitute), letting Jesus pay my penalty for me. In Isaiah 53:5, 6, 12 the Bible says, “But He (Jesus) was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him (Jesus). 12) Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great, and He will divide the booty with the strong; Because He (Jesus) poured out Himself to death, and was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, and interceded for the transgressors.” Will you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and let Him take your penalty?
What must I do to be saved?
The Bible says in Acts 20:21, “solemnly testifying to both Jews and Greeks of repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.” We must repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. What does it mean to repent and what does it mean to believe? Below I will explain.
Repent - A decision from the heart to turn from anything that is contrary to the Lordship (control) of Jesus Christ in our lives. This includes sin, rebellion, being lord (in control) of our own lives, following any other god’s, not loving God with your whole heart or not loving your neighbor as yourself, any unforgiveness towards anybody and ect..
Believe in Jesus – To believe in Jesus for what He did and who He is. He died on the cross for our sins and rose again from the dead. His is the Christ, the Son of the Living God and He is our Lord.
To believe in Jesus as Lord we must turn (repent) from not having followed Jesus as Lord of our lives and surrender our lives to Jesus as Lord from the heart giving Him full control of our lives.
Making a decision of faith from the heart:
The Bible says in Romans 10:9,10 “that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.” To confess Jesus as Lord with our mouths means nothing unless it is a result of believing in Jesus as our Lord from the heart!
You might say, “I’m not good enough to be saved.” You will never be good enough to be saved. Your works, keeping the Law, doing rituals, being part of an organization, and etc. cannot save you. Salvation is by grace through faith. It cannot be earned! As the Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-10, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Doing good works and obeying Jesus are a result of salvation but are not the means to salvation.
Can you accept God’s love for you?Do you recognize that you have sinned and rebelled against God?Are you willing to make a decision to turn from your sin and rebellion and give Jesus control of your life to let Him do whatever He wants with your life?Do you believe that Jesus died on the cross paying the penalty for your sin and rose again from the dead three days later.Do you believe in Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God and as your Lord?Are you willing to make a decision of faith in Jesus Christ right now?
Then talk to God and tell Him, receiving Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior!